You See Me

I see tired blue eyes. I see circles connecting them to my cheek bones. I see too much skin on my neck. I see acne and a crooked nose. I see too-small ears and mouse-brown hair. I see collar bones and shoulder bones rising out of the skin under my neck. My arms are long with tiny wrists, skin and bones extending into bony fingers that are sometimes much too long for my taste. I see a chest that I wish was smaller. I see my ribs poking through my sides, my rib cage and spine showing through slightly in my back. I see a stomach I wish was more toned. I see hips bones sticking out, hips that are too wide. I see legs that are skinny from the knees down but too muscular at the top from dance classes. I see a butt that is not toned enough, that I wish were flatter, harder, different. I see feet shaped oddly from months of dance, muscles sticking out awkwardly, broken toes. I see a seventeen year old girl. I see scars on my arms, a weird birthmark on my stomach that I’ve always been ashamed of. I see makeup smeared when I cry, and eyes squinting when I laugh. I see my hands. I see myself, and I don’t recognize myself.

But then I see You.
I close my eyes, and I hear Your voice, I hear Your heart. I see Your love radiating from inside of me. And it’s ok that I don’t think I’m pretty from their standards. Because when I know You live in me, I see myself through Your eyes. And You have seen me beautiful; You have seen me lovely, holy, blessed. You have seen me and said that I am Your child, Your bride, Your sister, Your creation. You look at me and You see the sacrifice You made. You have washed me with Your blood. And so now You see me clean. You have taken away my transgressions, and so now You call me beautiful, all the way from my honest eyes down to the feet that walk in Your truth, these feet that delight in bringing Your message. You have called me beautiful, because I have seen Your face. Your beauty is alive in me.