Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Even If..
"Seasons are changing, and waves are crashing,
and stars are falling all for us.
The days grow longer
and nights grow shorter;
I can show you I'll be the one.
I will never let you fall,
I'll stand up with you
forever.
I'll be there for you
through it all;
Even if saving you sends me to heaven."
- Your Guardian Angel,Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Commercial
I love this commercial. I think it is because of that feeling you get when you haven't seen someone you love for so long. When you finally see them it's breathtaking. Ahhmm love.
You Lost Me
I wanted to share this letter I found from another blog that a girl wrote. It is beautiful. It is nice and encouraging to know that other people go through the same things. I pray that she does find love, with herself. That is the best love you could ever find (well besides God's love of course). You have to be able to love yourself before you can truly love someone else.
"The last night i spent with you, i laid in your bed huddled next to you, desperate for warmth. Not from the room, or the temperature, but from the body laying next to me already fast asleep as if nothing in the world was troubling them. I, on the other hand, stared wide eyed into the foggy bedroom, watching the fan blades spin around and around in one motion over and over. Just like us. A repeat. I felt the silence, i felt the space between us - it felt like a house was wedged between us even though essentially all but two or three inches separated us. That was the last night i spent with you, next to you, a part of you.
The next morning something set you off. Something stupid, something that was never worth the fight and that's when the real you started seeping out. The anger, the refusal to communicate, the distance, everything I hated about you that turned the one i love into something so ugly. You told me it was over and I couldn't believe it. Wait, yes i could. Because secretly i had been trying to work up the nerve to leave you. Unfortunately you beat me to it, you had never been on to try to make it work and that's where you fooled me.
Rewind back to seven months ago when I received that message from you that brought all my hard work and progress crumbling to pieces. You had me pinned in this exact situation before. After three years of love you gave up on us, and now after a year of me gaining strength, of FINALLY getting over you...you want me back. I had consecutive dreams where you would return to me, and strong like a soldier i would turn you away in the coldest way possible, just like you had been to me. But in real life the story was incredibly different. I fell for that boy all over again. My mistake, as i would later learn. You lured me in with a new attitude, a new person, with words that convinced me you would try this time around and that you really cared. Jokes on me i suppose. It lasted for a few weeks, but your facade began to deteriorate ever so subtly until finally I was stuck in a loveless relationship. I would oogle at the couples out in public, the ones that couldn't get enough of each other, the ones that didn't care what other people though, the ones who were just mad about eachother and i'd compare it to our meaningless love. You wanted so much space, too much space. We were ten minutes apart yet i'd see you only a few days out of the week and hear form you once a day. You never did anything nice for me, never went out of your way to say you loved me, nothing. But yet i stood by you, i took this, and i thought maybe if i were different, you would love me.
You see, i was different. It was you that was never different. So you left me again, and i begged, but only because i don't give up. You do. You are weak, and you can look at the girl who stands before you with tears running freely asking for something out of you, anything at all, and laugh, but at least i know how to love and that is something you will never know. So here i go. I'm letting go completely this time. I'm growing without you. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone. It'll be harder than before but easier in the long run. I deserve better than you. I am better than you. And i will build myself up, i will fall in love with myself, so that next time you come around I'm strong enough to not make the same mistake twice.You lost something amazing. You lost me."
-K
"The last night i spent with you, i laid in your bed huddled next to you, desperate for warmth. Not from the room, or the temperature, but from the body laying next to me already fast asleep as if nothing in the world was troubling them. I, on the other hand, stared wide eyed into the foggy bedroom, watching the fan blades spin around and around in one motion over and over. Just like us. A repeat. I felt the silence, i felt the space between us - it felt like a house was wedged between us even though essentially all but two or three inches separated us. That was the last night i spent with you, next to you, a part of you.
The next morning something set you off. Something stupid, something that was never worth the fight and that's when the real you started seeping out. The anger, the refusal to communicate, the distance, everything I hated about you that turned the one i love into something so ugly. You told me it was over and I couldn't believe it. Wait, yes i could. Because secretly i had been trying to work up the nerve to leave you. Unfortunately you beat me to it, you had never been on to try to make it work and that's where you fooled me.
Rewind back to seven months ago when I received that message from you that brought all my hard work and progress crumbling to pieces. You had me pinned in this exact situation before. After three years of love you gave up on us, and now after a year of me gaining strength, of FINALLY getting over you...you want me back. I had consecutive dreams where you would return to me, and strong like a soldier i would turn you away in the coldest way possible, just like you had been to me. But in real life the story was incredibly different. I fell for that boy all over again. My mistake, as i would later learn. You lured me in with a new attitude, a new person, with words that convinced me you would try this time around and that you really cared. Jokes on me i suppose. It lasted for a few weeks, but your facade began to deteriorate ever so subtly until finally I was stuck in a loveless relationship. I would oogle at the couples out in public, the ones that couldn't get enough of each other, the ones that didn't care what other people though, the ones who were just mad about eachother and i'd compare it to our meaningless love. You wanted so much space, too much space. We were ten minutes apart yet i'd see you only a few days out of the week and hear form you once a day. You never did anything nice for me, never went out of your way to say you loved me, nothing. But yet i stood by you, i took this, and i thought maybe if i were different, you would love me.
You see, i was different. It was you that was never different. So you left me again, and i begged, but only because i don't give up. You do. You are weak, and you can look at the girl who stands before you with tears running freely asking for something out of you, anything at all, and laugh, but at least i know how to love and that is something you will never know. So here i go. I'm letting go completely this time. I'm growing without you. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone. It'll be harder than before but easier in the long run. I deserve better than you. I am better than you. And i will build myself up, i will fall in love with myself, so that next time you come around I'm strong enough to not make the same mistake twice.You lost something amazing. You lost me."
-K
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Anthem
Me and my Bestie's anthem :) Someday by Mariah Carey
You were so blind to let me go
You had it all but didn't know
No one you'll ever find will be
Closer to all your dreams than me
Believing the grass would be greener
You told yourself "I just don't need her now"
But I know you'll soon discover
You're never satisfied with any other
Someday Oo Someday
One you gave away will be the only one you're wishing for
Someday hey hey
Boy you're gonna pay 'cause baby
I'm the one who's keeping score
You'll change your mind and call my name
Soon as you find they're all the same
And when you find yourself alone
Don't come back crying
You should have known
Believe me I'm not pretending
It's not hard to predict
This ending now'
Cause I know you'll soon discover
You're needing me in spite of all the others
Maybe now you just can't conceive
That there'll ever come a time when you're cold and lonely
Baby, how could you ever believe
That another could replace me
The one and only
But when your down
In your time of need
And you're thinking that you
Might be coming back to own me
Just think again 'cause
I won't need your love anymore!
You were so blind to let me go
You had it all but didn't know
No one you'll ever find will be
Closer to all your dreams than me
Believing the grass would be greener
You told yourself "I just don't need her now"
But I know you'll soon discover
You're never satisfied with any other
Someday Oo Someday
One you gave away will be the only one you're wishing for
Someday hey hey
Boy you're gonna pay 'cause baby
I'm the one who's keeping score
You'll change your mind and call my name
Soon as you find they're all the same
And when you find yourself alone
Don't come back crying
You should have known
Believe me I'm not pretending
It's not hard to predict
This ending now'
Cause I know you'll soon discover
You're needing me in spite of all the others
Maybe now you just can't conceive
That there'll ever come a time when you're cold and lonely
Baby, how could you ever believe
That another could replace me
The one and only
But when your down
In your time of need
And you're thinking that you
Might be coming back to own me
Just think again 'cause
I won't need your love anymore!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Pain
Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it’s a big part, and sometimes it isn’t, but either way, it’s part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you’re alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.
— White Night by Jim Butcher
— White Night by Jim Butcher
Bring Him Home Santa
Oh my, this song is so moving. God Bless each and every soldier who is fighting to keep our country safe.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Yesterday's Rain
Well, I've been told I shouldn't stand in your rain
That's the only place I see your face
I can see your face
It took sometime to heal but I've moved on
I still go back in time and stand in your storms
Familiar warmth
Always feels like home
-Gary Allan
That's the only place I see your face
I can see your face
It took sometime to heal but I've moved on
I still go back in time and stand in your storms
Familiar warmth
Always feels like home
-Gary Allan
Monday, December 14, 2009
You Are
You are strong...
when you take your grief and teach it to smile.
You are brave...
when you overcome your fear and help others do the same.
You are happy...
when you see a flower and are thankful for the blessing.
You are loving...
when your own pain does not blind you to the pain of others.
You are wise...
when you know the limits of your wisdom.
You are true...
when you admit there are times you fool yourself.
You are alive...
when tomorrow's hope means more to you than yesterday's mistake.
You are growing...
when you know what you are but not what you will become.
You are free...
when you are in control of yourself and do not wish to control others.
You are honorable...
when you find your honor is to honor others.
You are generous...
when you take as sweetly as you can give.
You are humble...
when you do not know how humble you are.
You are thoughtful...
when you see me just as I am and treat me just as you are.
You are merciful...
when you forgive in others the faults you condemn in yourself.
You are beautiful...
when you don't need a mirror to tell you.
You are rich...
when you never need more than what you have.
You are you...
when you are at peace with who are you not.
-Unknown
when you take your grief and teach it to smile.
You are brave...
when you overcome your fear and help others do the same.
You are happy...
when you see a flower and are thankful for the blessing.
You are loving...
when your own pain does not blind you to the pain of others.
You are wise...
when you know the limits of your wisdom.
You are true...
when you admit there are times you fool yourself.
You are alive...
when tomorrow's hope means more to you than yesterday's mistake.
You are growing...
when you know what you are but not what you will become.
You are free...
when you are in control of yourself and do not wish to control others.
You are honorable...
when you find your honor is to honor others.
You are generous...
when you take as sweetly as you can give.
You are humble...
when you do not know how humble you are.
You are thoughtful...
when you see me just as I am and treat me just as you are.
You are merciful...
when you forgive in others the faults you condemn in yourself.
You are beautiful...
when you don't need a mirror to tell you.
You are rich...
when you never need more than what you have.
You are you...
when you are at peace with who are you not.
-Unknown
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Choose Me
"Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me." -Meredith Grey
Peace
His name shall be called...The Prince of Peace. -Isaiah 9:6
I know everyone is searching for peace one way or another in their lives. Either it be with a rocky relationship or bringing their loved ones safe back from war. Remember who gave you peace. Commit yourself this season to God. Put everything in His hands. For He is the one who gave you life.
I know everyone is searching for peace one way or another in their lives. Either it be with a rocky relationship or bringing their loved ones safe back from war. Remember who gave you peace. Commit yourself this season to God. Put everything in His hands. For He is the one who gave you life.
Friday, December 11, 2009
A Man..
I want a man who needs me
I want a man who sees me with a little bit of glitter
I want a man who isn't afraid of the love I give
I want a man who is willing to take risks
I want a man who is smart
I want a man who understands what is important to me
I want a man who makes me real & makes me smile
I want a man who is mature & strong enough for a relationship
I want a man who sees me with a little bit of glitter
I want a man who isn't afraid of the love I give
I want a man who is willing to take risks
I want a man who is smart
I want a man who understands what is important to me
I want a man who makes me real & makes me smile
I want a man who is mature & strong enough for a relationship
Thursday, December 10, 2009
The Notebook
Doesn't get much better than this...
"Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it's too late."
My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah
"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day."
"Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it's too late."My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day."
Precious
Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 1 Peter 3:3-4
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Me
*I have olive colored skin. When I was born the doctor told my mom to name me Olivia.
*Of course, my parents couldn't name me that we had to keep the M theme going. Mary, Matthew, Megan, and Melanie…poor Richard.
*I have bags and bags and bags of candy hidden under my bed. Seriously it is quite scary how much is under there.
*It is true, I am moving in about a week and a half.
*On my lunch break from work I go to the park and read. Sometimes I just sit there and watch everything. It is amazing the beautiful things that go on.
*I miss volleyball so much it makes me physically ill to think about it.
*I am obsessed with Colbie Caillat’s new Cd. I play it over and over every night.
*I feel like a new person these days. Blonde hair and pale olive skin. When not too long ago I had black hair and tan skin, haha. I embrace change.
--Alright, this is getting a little out of hand :) Hope you enjoyed learning a little more about me.
On & On
to the lovers of love; and the makers of music to the writers of words and the dreamers of dreams don't let this mad world bring you down love on, make on, and dream on. -littleteaspoon
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
She's The Girl...
"She's the girl that believes that what comes around goes around. The one that hopes for a better day. The one that won't give up on you. She's the girl that's unlike the rest. The one that spent her days smiling, and her nights crying. She's the girl that would love to be loved. The one that looks so strong, but feels so weak. She's the girl that picks herself up every time she falls."
Monday, December 7, 2009
Blog
My beautiful best friend just started her own blog, a little different than mine. She blogs lyrics to songs. So go check it out, follow her, and find out all the great music out there :) http://iheartlyrics-meg.blogspot.com/
Like A Dove.
Oh, that I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest! I would fly far away to the quiet of the wilderness. How quickly I would escape-far from this wild storm of hatred. Psalm 55:6-8
I Wish
I always wonder why our minds don't ever let us forget things. There are some things I wish I could forget. I guess that is all part of God's plan. To remember the beautiful memories in life and to learn from the bad ones.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
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